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Stripping off the Layers...
Ogres. They have layers. Not everyone likes
them, and they are stereotyped and judged, before they even have a chance. What is shown on the outside isnt a true reflection
of who they really are. I feel that way about myself. What I see in the mirror isnt me. Not the real me. The real me
is hidden, under all the layers. Unfortunately, very few people are willing to look that deep. Despite what people say,
physical manifestation does matter. Lucky for me, I don't care. The people who judge me on face value now, are the people
I dont want in my life. That won't change. But physically, I will.
I've finally reached a point where something
has clicked over in my mind, and I'm ready to stop making excuses, stop living in denial, stop letting fear of failure hold
me back, and to begin to strip off the layers to reveal the real me. So I'm here, with my greatest challenge to date - Weight Loss!
After years of struggling with
my self-worth, and fighting countless inner-battles, I'm finally OK with who I am. And I'm happy. Except
for one little thing. Yep, the weight! It's not a matter of looking 'hot'. I dont expect to ever have a bikini-ready body.
I have no illusions about being a perfect size 10. I dont want to be 'skinny' - I like having curves! For me,
it's about being fit and healthy, and comfortable in my own skin. I want to look the way I feel. And I definately
do not feel fat or frumpy!
All up, I have a total of 40kg to lose. Ouch. I figure that realistically, it'll take me about 2 years
to get there. Two long years. But I'll do it. And I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise.
For the latest, check out
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Updates
24/02/05 - 30% there
17/01/05 - Officially a 90's Girl!
18/12/04 - Hit the 20%
mark!
Current Goal...
Get as close to 90 kg as possible by my 21st. (5 weeks, 4.5 kg remaining)
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I'm feeling...
"Whatever I give you
You give me back so much more
You give me that something
I never knew I
was looking for
Whenever I need you
It's like you read my mind
You're already waiting
Up ahead at the finish line
I
Don't know if I'll get there
Cos it could change in 15 minutes
But here I am in the moment
I won't hold back
I'm
gonna live it
I don't know where this is going
Or how hard it's gonna be
You get the scars to prove it
When
you wear your heart out on your sleeve
But I'm still standing here today
In your eyes I'm still the same
And they
can't take that away"
- Ben Lummis
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